Striving for Imperfection

I've been thinking a lot about my perfectionism lately and how much it prohibits me from doing things that I'm interested in, so I decided to look up the definition.....and yikes!... A propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect.  Reading that definition makes me want to get a coloring book and color outside of every line in it! And since the most beautiful things in life are the imperfect, the pressure is off! So, I'm moving forward with this blog even though it doesn't look exactly like I want it to....and one of these days I'll even finish my about me and add that.  But in the meantime, I'm taking Voltaire's advice....."Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good." 

Do It Afraid

Today is the day! I have tried to make excuses.....deny, ignore and even allow myself to be intimidated into thinking that I'm not good enough or  creative enough to do what I know God is gracing me to do. So.....I'm choosing to step out and "do it afraid", to show up and be available for Him. And like every area of my life, I am completely dependent on His love and grace.....but I wouldn't want it any other way!

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said....."Do one thing every day that scares you". This definitely qualifies for me!

Great Is His Faithfulness

We woke up this morning to everything adorned in several inches of beautiful fresh snow, just as had been predicted. As I sat enjoying our morning routine and gazing out at the snow gently falling, I was in awe of the beauty of my awesome Creator. But I quickly found my mind starting to wander and felt the tears and emotion of what this day holds. You see, even though we are in a state of emergency due to the roads and weather conditions, we will prepare and make our way to a funeral home later this afternoon. And the real state of emergency is what the family waiting at that funeral home is experiencing…..which unfortunately, we know and understand all too well. A phone call last Saturday night that changed their lives forever. Their beloved 28 year old son tragically killed in a car accident. A friend of our son's who had spent time at our home, and the nephew of our dear friends. 
I don’t want to understand what his parents are going through…the pain, grief and heart wrenching agony. How they’re trying to parent their other children when they don’t even know if they have the strength to take their next breath. How life feels like it should stop and in a lot of ways has stopped, and yet so cruelly goes on. But then I stop my brain from trying to take me down that dark, hopeless road and start focusing on the truth. The truth that has given me the strength, courage and hope to not only live, but to live with a new purpose…..to comfort those with the same abundant comfort that I have received from my amazing Savior. His grace is more sufficient than I ever could have imagined! 
So as I walk into that funeral home searching for words to express something for which there are no words to express, I pray that they will see hope in a family that is walking this same unwanted journey. And in the days, weeks and months ahead I pray that I can continue to be a help and comfort to another mom whose heart will never be the same.

The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

Grace

I have never participated in five minute friday, but with the prompting and encouragement of my sister-in-law and the hope that this could help or encourage someone, I’m stepping out of my comfort zone. So here goes…….
Grace…..more specifically God’s grace, is a subject I’m very passionate about. You see, if it wasn’t for God’s grace my life would literally have ended on October 3, 2009. That was the day my new journey (one that no parent ever expects or could even imagine) began. A journey that I would not be able to endure for even one second without the revelation of God’s grace. You see on that day our beloved 23 year old son left this earth. No, I won’t say we lost him because I know exactly where he is. And I won’t say he died because he is more alive than ever, in his heavenly home. But what I will say is that the pain and heartache is deeper than anything imaginable. And, it doesn’t go away…..ever. There are moments when, if I let myself think about it, the reality still takes my breath away. And my heart literally aches for him every second of every day.
But, God’s grace has been more than sufficient…..it’s been all sufficient. And trust me, if you knew me you would really understand that I would not have survived even one day without it! And in those moments, hours and yes even days when I feel like I just can’t take any more of this unwanted journey, I know that His grace is still all sufficient, I just need to accept and receive what He has freely given.